


Time is not our friend

by prooftonyhasaheart (reinedelutin)



Series: Just Another Shot [4]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Non-Explicit Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-06
Updated: 2012-12-06
Packaged: 2017-11-20 10:54:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/584615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reinedelutin/pseuds/prooftonyhasaheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"He has no idea if it's the right thing to do.... but he's feeling the time crunch. Time is not his friend, and if he's going to do it... he'd better do it soon." Tony says sadly, the truth hurting more than it seemed.</p><p>"and now he's making it sound like a paper he has to get done soon, not having children." Pepper rolled her eyes at Tony's words.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Time is not our friend

**Author's Note:**

> This was written between myself, prooftonyhasaheart.tumblr.com, and my Tony Stark rp partner avengersrpstark.tumblr.com

"He has no idea if it's the right thing to do.... but he's feeling the time crunch. Time is not his friend, and if he's going to do it... he'd better do it soon." Tony says sadly, the truth hurting more than it seemed.

"and now he's making it sound like a paper he has to get done soon, not having children." Pepper rolled her eyes at Tony's words.

"Well no. I mean. Not like that... it's .... I mean. I figure I've got enough time to see them born.. Maybe a few months or so after that. I don't want to leave Pepper alone... and I .. I don't know. I kind of want to leave a legacy behind. Keep the Stark name going. As much good as it'll do. Maybe.. maybe to leave a chance that someone with the Stark Name will right some of the wrongs My father and I left behind. I mean.. I'm hoping for good things ... and to be with Pepper the only way I can be after I've gone."

Pepper felt her heart in a vice at his words, and steps forward to face him.

"Tony, you can right your own wrongs. You don't have to have a child to do that for you." She kisses his cheek. "And you better live long enough to see our child graduate MIT at seventeen and get married later in life." A soft smile, slightly teasing.

His eyes fill with sadness, though his mouth lies and quirks up at the corners with a smile. "Pepper…" He reaches out, fingers sliding into her hair at her temples, tucking strawberry blonde strands behind her ears. He's been trying to tell her for months... But he's notoriously bad at stuff like this. "Pepper, if they're taking until 17 to graduate from MIT, they're no child of mine... anyway…" He shakes his head, that's not what he's trying to say. "... Pepper, I know you can't handle this company all by yourself.. you keep telling me that.. I mean.. what I'm trying to say is .. I .. I don't know what I'm trying to say. I can't -talk- when I'm around you... you make me jumble words.. I can't think straight. But I need to tell you ."

"You have to take into account that they might not be as much into science and technology like I am, so 17." She smiles again, then it fades at his last words. "Tony, when you jumble words, my heart jumps." She chuckles, giving him a wry grin. "You used to be able to talk to me. Tell me anything and everything, even if I really didn't want to know. You just...care more than you did, about how I feel. I mean, it hurt that you didn't tell me you were dying, but you didn't tell me to spare me the worry."

"... I'm still dying, Pepper. I haven't fixed that little problem.." He shrugged a little. "Minor... bump.. in the road."

She doesn't say anything at first, looking up at him to try to see the truth of his words. "You're, still dying?" She whispers, hand touching the arc reactor through his shirt, hurt on her face. "When did you find out?" She asked quietly.

He sighs softly, raking a hand through his hair, eyes on her fingertips and not on her face. "It's not the arc-reactor, this time. I got that part worked out.. sort of. Mostly. It's ... frying my nervous system. When it gets to things like... my lungs. My heart... they'll stop working. They're kind of important.. so.."

She doesn't know how to react, what to say, she just looks at the arc reactor helplessly. "So this is what explains your sudden need to be a father." Her fingers trace a path over the arc reactor to over his lungs, then back. "And the sudden investment in the research of the nervous system?"

"... and Nano-tech and biomechanical integration and cellular reconstruction... Yes." He still can't bring himself to look her in the eye.

She nods, eyes still on the thing saving and killing the man she loved. "And the fact that some of them are at a standstill?" Her thumb brushed over where his heart was. "How long…" She stops, afraid to ask. she bites her lip and presses her forehead to his shoulder, wrapping her arms around him.

"Maybe a year. Less, the more power I use. If I have my math right, and I always have my math right... anywhere from 18 to 24 months ... if I don't use the Unibeam and fly sparingly. But we know how that goes."

She doesn't say anything at first after this revelation, and it takes her a few minutes before she can speak. "I can't lose you." She doesn't know what she'd do without him.

"I'm trying, Pepper. But I've got to be realistic here... the odds aren't good. They're not even okay. They're barely even hopeful. But I'm trying." He leans forward, kissing her on the forehead, gathering her into his arms, holding her close. Burying his face in her hair and breathing her in.

She nods against him. "If there's anything I can do, anything, let me know?" She didn't know how she could, but she had to do something. she nuzzled his shoulder, her eyes looking off behind him blindly as she hugged him back. "I'll bring in the best researchers from anywhere, any scientist you need."

"Pepper.... we already -have- the best scientists. I'm working with a lady who's developing something that might work... maybe. But it's a last resort. So far, nobody's lived through the procedure. I promise you, I'm doing everything I can to fight it."

She's fighting back tears, and she's suddenly furious with him. "You can't die!" She hits his chest, not near his arc reactor. "You can't leave me!" She hits him again as she sobs, and her fingers clench at his shirt, holding him close yet ready to shove him away at a moments notice. "I need you, Tony." She whispers.

He lets her pummel him in the chest. Lets her beat it out on his skin. It feels good... the pain of her fists hitting him. Like physical representations of the blows he'd taken to when he'd found out what the new power source was doing to his system. Out of the frying pan. Into the fire. "I'm sorry, Pepper... "He whispered into her hair. "I'm sorry."

She cried against him, fingers curled in his shirt surrounding the reactor. She didn't have the strength to hit him anymore, but she was afraid if she let go, she'd lose him, and she'd never get him back. how did this man-child get so deep in her heart that she couldn't bear to let him go? Even the thought of losing him shot a pain through her heart, not as literally as it was for Tony.

"If you don't want to do this...." One hand slid down, palm pressed tenderly against her stomach. "... I understand. I do.. and it's probably better left undone.."

She doesn't say anything at first, reveling in the feel of his hand on her stomach, and she shakes her head. "I want you to be there for our child, but I'm afraid to say no. You planned this, so I wouldn't join you if something happened to you, didn't you? If I have your child, I couldn't do anything stupid because I would never let anything happen to them." She realized as she spoke it aloud.

He stiffened in her arms. His shoulders squaring, his fingers curling just a breath tighter, his touch just a fraction heavier. He pressed a desperate kiss to her temple, to her ear. Praying she wouldn't be furious with him, praying she wouldn't say no.

So that was his plan. She pressed her eyes against his shoulder, unable to look at him. "You would use our child against me emotionally like that." Her voice broke in midsentence, and she needed a few minutes to get control of her voice again. "But, I can't say I don't want to have our child. Damn you!" She pulled his shirt a little with her grip, grit her teeth together as she shoved him a little instead of punching his chest again.

"I …" He worked his jaw. Clenching his teeth against the tears threatening to fall from his own eyes. ".. Pepper I need to know you're going to go on without me. I can't ... I can't stomach the idea of your funeral. Even after I'm gone. It's selfish. I know. I'm selfish. We've already established this. And I want something to live for. I need something to -fight- for. Don't you think a family is the one thing I would fight the hardest for... ? I would grit my teeth and tell death to go fuck himself for? I love you Pepper... and I am fighting to stay here as long as I can. I'm fighting to fix this... don't ... please.. please don't make it for nothing, if I don't win."

She didn't respond right away, thinking about her options if something happened to Tony. "I can't promise anything, if I'm not pregnant. She replied honestly. "I would never do anything to harm them, and you'd have to kill me to make them an orphan, because I'd never leave them willingly. But, if I am here, and you leave me all alone, with no one to fight for, I can't say what would happen. I'm selfish too, Tony. I need you, or even just a part of you." She choked on her words, tears dampening his shirt to the point where his skin was almost visible.

"I know...." And he couldn't say anything else. Tears were streaming down his own face. Unbidden. Unwanted. Uncontrollable. "I know…" His hands splayed over her stomach, caressing over her hips. If he could just -will- it to be hard enough, she would have all the reason in the world to live. He would leave at least, some small part of himself with her. He would give her.. and another being.. life. But he couldn't... and he was damn near infertile... and he was more scared of Pepper following him into the cold abyss than he was of going there himself.

"So." She sniffed, turning her head to press her lips against his neck. "Let's go give us a reason to keep fighting, right?" She asked quietly. "I can get fertility treatments to make it easier to get pregnant." She let go of his shirt long enough to wipe her eyes with her sleeve, then laid her cheek against his shoulder, pressing her lips to his jaw.

He nodded quietly, moved so they could stagger to the bedroom, while still in each other's arms. Sex was, actually, one of the last things on his mind until she'd said those words... and then it became a beacon of hope... and he needed it so painfully desperately. He pressed his lips to hers once... tender and soft, pulled away for a breath of a moment pushed himself against her once more, hard and quivering with barely suppressed need.

She let him lead her, and let him take control as she kissed him back with equal force, one of her hands sliding under his shirt to feel his skin, the other holding herself up against him behind his neck as she wrapped an ankle around his waist, helped with her yoga training.

He made love to her all night long.. frantic and desperate at first.. clinging and holding and fucking for the sake of procreation... hard and hungry and quick. Then, more slowly. Showing her in all the little ways he touched her with every part of his body.... lingered with her.... moaned and cried and sighed with her. He let her have him... let her do whatever she liked until they were buzzing and exhausted and sweaty - covered in salty, dried up perspiration and smelling of sex and need and lust and long-night loving. Until they were too tired to move, except to get closer to one another. They made love while the sun painted the morning sky in pale shades of lavender pink and orange. They made love until the sun crowned over the horizon - and then they made love again until they both passed out, tangled in each other's arms.


End file.
